Worry: Sin's Playground, The Series

So I took my son to the playground this afternoon and as usual he wants to run straight for the playground equipment. I like the playground we got to but there isn't a clear place for me to stand to see the entire equipment and him at one time. Not to mention, there are plenty of different pieces that he likes to play with that causes an uneasiness within me.

And then it hit me today! Worrying about him playing on the playground is a little out of my control. And then God spoke ....

When I worry, it's like being on this piece of playground equipment. When trying to get from one side to another, there are different pieces of the equipment that will distract me and cause me to believe that I will fall or give me a false sense of security. The only way to make safely from one side to the next is to keep my head up and my eyes lifted and forward.

Wow! God-spired moment!

Over the next couple of weeks, I want to discuss worry and it's characteristics just like the different pieces of playground equipment.

I hope this speaks to you as it speaks to me.

The sin of sitcoms

Image taken from Google Images

Do you know why TV Land is so popular? Because it allows the average person to watch an episode of a show they've seen time and time again ...... AGAIN! Why is this important to us? Because we like the security of the predictable. We like knowing the outcome before it happens and the familiar becomes our faith.

The other day I had to have a very direct and blunt conversation. Days prior to the conversation, I found myself "going over" the conversation in my head to make sure I didn't miss anything. I rehearsed what I was going to say many times over and even rehearsed what the other person might say or how they might respond and how I was going to respond to THAT!

Sound familiar? Been here before?

What I came to realize is that I was (again) worried about something I couldn't control. For all the dress rehearsals I was having, nothing cold prepare me any better for that moment in time than anything else ...... Except the complete reliance on God to know the situation, write the script (done), cast the characters and know the outcome (already done).

Jeremiah 29:11 gives us the confidence that we need to make it through any situation, "For I know the plans I have for you, saith the Lord." This is our confidence that this "Grammy-winning" situation we are about to enter will only come out gold!

The Death of Disappointments

Disappointment - Expectations = Grace

Math was never my strong suit in school but there were two types of mathematics operations I was always good at: subtracting and multiplying!

When we are in relationships with other people especially family or marriage, we expect them to act or behave or even talk a certain way. Based on our history with them, we have very strong desires to require certain responses from them. Sometimes its even the past and past experiences that lead us to expect or demand certain things from them. We even demand and try to control their future based on how we want or think they should be. Sounds like a bunch of empty and unfulfilling and unfair rules doesn't it?

We all tend to hold expectations of other people, don't we? And the worse kind are the unspoken expectations. When those expectations go unmet or unfulfilled, we tend to feel empty. Sometimes we even feel deprived as if the right to have a certain response or behavior has been taken from us. If more than one expectation goes unfulfilled, especially without reconciliation or a response, the disappointment tends to have a snowball effect until you realize that you aren't even speaking to that person.

And what tends to make matters worse is how we respond to the disappointments. Sometimes we respond in anger and seek retribution and vindication. Sometimes we withdraw and retreat and limit our interactions with that individual. Sometimes we approach or confront the individual which leads to a very uncomfortable and God dis honoring conversation.

So what does math have to do with disappointments?there are two things I remember from teaching math when I was in the classroom. #1 - Subtraction always takes away from the whole and focuses on what's left. Disappointments do the same thing. Disappointments tend to take away one's focus on the good qualities in a person and what they need to be deified in the body of Christ. When someone disappoints me, I no longer see how well they are at communicating honesty to me but I see how this one instance has left me focusing on their shortcoming. #2 - Multiplication is like repeated addition. In the same way disappointments lead me to focus on a person's mistake, it also prompts me to begin thinking of other instances where that person has disappointed me before or how that person "always" disappoints me. Ever find yourself doing that?

The answer to this problem = GRACE! What does grace stand for?
G - Giving
R - Retribution
A - A
C - Conscious
E - Exit

Grace allows us to see those positive things and qualities in something or someone else. It takes our focus off of ourselves and what we think and outs it on the other person and what they need or lack. In other words grace lessens our pride and increases our humility (James 4:6).

The next time someone disappoints you, try to Give Retribution A Conscious Exit and focus in how you can meet that person's shortcoming.

Worshipping the What Ifs

You wanna know my greatest weakness?!

I care what you think! How you respond during a conversation with me is important to me. I often find myself anticipating what you have to say or trying to read into your body language or facial expressions to gauge how you are feeling and guide me to my next comment or decision.

Sounds exhausting, huh? Ever find yourself in this situation?

This past week I found myself in that situation so deep that I realized my whole self revolved on the uncontrolled actions of another (my husband to be exact). I knew that I had to have a candid conversation with him but instead of spending time praying and seeking God's face and the Holy Spirit for guidance, I found myself consumed with how he might respond or what he might say. Then I found myself just as consumed with how I would respond to his response.

I even called my girlfriends to make sure I wasn't off kilter and on the right track. And that's when the truth came out!!! I was kindly and loving reminded that I can't control what somebody else does or says, I can only control what I do or say. Then God reminded me of another conversation I had had a few weeks earlier when I encouraged someone else to not waste time "worrying about something you can't control!"

Worry is a sin! And God knows that and He knew that we would do it. That's why all throughout His Word, He tells us to guard our hearts and minds, consider our ways and take our thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5).

Be careful what holds your thoughts and attention. Spend less time worrying about what you can't control and more time about what you can.