I just woke up from the same dream, experienced three times in three weeks. Every have that happen to you? Do you ever start to wonder why? Is God trying to tell me something? Is this a warning? What is the lesson for me to learn? What do I need to understand? The more I thought about my dream, I realized the message was clear long before the dream. This is His way of finally getting my attention.
I don't quite remember how the dream starts but the genial premise is that I go from being an average, everyday citizen to being a part of an elite, special forces crime-fighting group. I start out by witnessing the group in action and somehow I become involved in preventing the next crime in the same manner as of the other members of the group ....... under disguise.
But tonight's ending was different.
The other two night's, I watched, as almost from a distance, as the group members one by one, left their families to become a part of this group. So show their wives, mothers, etc see through the disguise to see the reason they have "disappeared" from normal, everyday life. And with no explanation, the elite group member doesn't even say "goodbye" but just continues on while their family fades into the background.
Tonight I had done the same thing.
In my dream, I watched as my husband sees me one the street after completing a "job" and begins to confront me. He starts asking "Where have I been." and "Why have I neglected our son and our home." "How could you just walk away from us like that?!"
And then the "wake up call" occurred. For the past two weeks I had been complaining about how overloaded my plates have been and how I can't seem to get anything accomplished but continue to get more (in all arenas: i.e. work, home, spiritual). I have been frustrated by the lack of concentration towards and completion of tasks I had exhibited. Everyday I would come home hanging my head, defeated by the thought of what "I needed to do."
Now my dream makes sense. Philippians 4:13 is very clear. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.". I have been trying to put on a mask/disguise everyday pretending that I can do everything and that I can balance it all and worse of all ....... on my own! I begin to wonder, "Have I, just like in the dream, neglected and left my family to join the ranks of an elite group of Super Worker, Super Wife, Super Mom (which doesn't exist by the way)?! "Have I even been so concentrated on winning the big battles, that I don't even celebrate the small victories?"
This blog alone answers that question. I "planned" back in August of 2008 to begin writing some of the things I believe God was sharing with me. Since then I was planning, and planning, and planning but hadn't accomplished even starting the actual blog construction. Now I go to sleep celebrating the small victories I have just won: I have accomplished my goal of starting a blog; I was able to find the time to write a post without distraction (my boys are currently sleeping); I am able to release the weight of failure and frustration by just trusting Him; and I finally got the message: Tia AIN'T no super hero.
Good night!
