Worry: Sin's Playground, The Series

So I took my son to the playground this afternoon and as usual he wants to run straight for the playground equipment. I like the playground we got to but there isn't a clear place for me to stand to see the entire equipment and him at one time. Not to mention, there are plenty of different pieces that he likes to play with that causes an uneasiness within me.

And then it hit me today! Worrying about him playing on the playground is a little out of my control. And then God spoke ....

When I worry, it's like being on this piece of playground equipment. When trying to get from one side to another, there are different pieces of the equipment that will distract me and cause me to believe that I will fall or give me a false sense of security. The only way to make safely from one side to the next is to keep my head up and my eyes lifted and forward.

Wow! God-spired moment!

Over the next couple of weeks, I want to discuss worry and it's characteristics just like the different pieces of playground equipment.

I hope this speaks to you as it speaks to me.

The sin of sitcoms

Image taken from Google Images

Do you know why TV Land is so popular? Because it allows the average person to watch an episode of a show they've seen time and time again ...... AGAIN! Why is this important to us? Because we like the security of the predictable. We like knowing the outcome before it happens and the familiar becomes our faith.

The other day I had to have a very direct and blunt conversation. Days prior to the conversation, I found myself "going over" the conversation in my head to make sure I didn't miss anything. I rehearsed what I was going to say many times over and even rehearsed what the other person might say or how they might respond and how I was going to respond to THAT!

Sound familiar? Been here before?

What I came to realize is that I was (again) worried about something I couldn't control. For all the dress rehearsals I was having, nothing cold prepare me any better for that moment in time than anything else ...... Except the complete reliance on God to know the situation, write the script (done), cast the characters and know the outcome (already done).

Jeremiah 29:11 gives us the confidence that we need to make it through any situation, "For I know the plans I have for you, saith the Lord." This is our confidence that this "Grammy-winning" situation we are about to enter will only come out gold!

The Death of Disappointments

Disappointment - Expectations = Grace

Math was never my strong suit in school but there were two types of mathematics operations I was always good at: subtracting and multiplying!

When we are in relationships with other people especially family or marriage, we expect them to act or behave or even talk a certain way. Based on our history with them, we have very strong desires to require certain responses from them. Sometimes its even the past and past experiences that lead us to expect or demand certain things from them. We even demand and try to control their future based on how we want or think they should be. Sounds like a bunch of empty and unfulfilling and unfair rules doesn't it?

We all tend to hold expectations of other people, don't we? And the worse kind are the unspoken expectations. When those expectations go unmet or unfulfilled, we tend to feel empty. Sometimes we even feel deprived as if the right to have a certain response or behavior has been taken from us. If more than one expectation goes unfulfilled, especially without reconciliation or a response, the disappointment tends to have a snowball effect until you realize that you aren't even speaking to that person.

And what tends to make matters worse is how we respond to the disappointments. Sometimes we respond in anger and seek retribution and vindication. Sometimes we withdraw and retreat and limit our interactions with that individual. Sometimes we approach or confront the individual which leads to a very uncomfortable and God dis honoring conversation.

So what does math have to do with disappointments?there are two things I remember from teaching math when I was in the classroom. #1 - Subtraction always takes away from the whole and focuses on what's left. Disappointments do the same thing. Disappointments tend to take away one's focus on the good qualities in a person and what they need to be deified in the body of Christ. When someone disappoints me, I no longer see how well they are at communicating honesty to me but I see how this one instance has left me focusing on their shortcoming. #2 - Multiplication is like repeated addition. In the same way disappointments lead me to focus on a person's mistake, it also prompts me to begin thinking of other instances where that person has disappointed me before or how that person "always" disappoints me. Ever find yourself doing that?

The answer to this problem = GRACE! What does grace stand for?
G - Giving
R - Retribution
A - A
C - Conscious
E - Exit

Grace allows us to see those positive things and qualities in something or someone else. It takes our focus off of ourselves and what we think and outs it on the other person and what they need or lack. In other words grace lessens our pride and increases our humility (James 4:6).

The next time someone disappoints you, try to Give Retribution A Conscious Exit and focus in how you can meet that person's shortcoming.

Worshipping the What Ifs

You wanna know my greatest weakness?!

I care what you think! How you respond during a conversation with me is important to me. I often find myself anticipating what you have to say or trying to read into your body language or facial expressions to gauge how you are feeling and guide me to my next comment or decision.

Sounds exhausting, huh? Ever find yourself in this situation?

This past week I found myself in that situation so deep that I realized my whole self revolved on the uncontrolled actions of another (my husband to be exact). I knew that I had to have a candid conversation with him but instead of spending time praying and seeking God's face and the Holy Spirit for guidance, I found myself consumed with how he might respond or what he might say. Then I found myself just as consumed with how I would respond to his response.

I even called my girlfriends to make sure I wasn't off kilter and on the right track. And that's when the truth came out!!! I was kindly and loving reminded that I can't control what somebody else does or says, I can only control what I do or say. Then God reminded me of another conversation I had had a few weeks earlier when I encouraged someone else to not waste time "worrying about something you can't control!"

Worry is a sin! And God knows that and He knew that we would do it. That's why all throughout His Word, He tells us to guard our hearts and minds, consider our ways and take our thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5).

Be careful what holds your thoughts and attention. Spend less time worrying about what you can't control and more time about what you can.

The Audacity of Hope

Picture found at: http://thegreencabin.net/images/hope_6_2008_solstice_094.jpg

Watch this quick clip from the movie:

The Shawshank Redemption

(pardon the initial language)

(stop at 1:50)

How is hope made? What creates it? When does hope no longer become hope? There is a reason why these questions and more have not been answered: HOPE!

Hope cannot exist without faith. Faith within itself is not enough. It's the hope of what the faith believes in that keeps people going. Faith is the foundation and hope is the vision. Faith is the belief and hope is the drive. Faith is the beginning and hope is the future. Think about it. If I sit in a random chair, it is faith that allows me to make the first move and sit in the chair. It is HOPE, however, that allows me to continue to sit in the chair. Once I sit in the chair, my faith has been confirmed. I no longer need to attempt to believe that the chair will hold me up. Now I need to believe that the chair will continue to hold me up. The Bible even talks about the connection between faith and hope in Hebrews. It says that "...faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see (Heb. 11:1 NIV). "

Have you ever noticed, though, that hope never gives you a full picture? When you look at the picture above or at any horizon, do you notice that you never see the full horizon? Ever consider the various cliches that talk about "a glimmer of hope", "a shred of hope", "a glimpse of hope"? Hope is not meant to satisfy the big picture but provide you with just enough fuel to keep you moving in the right direction. If we could see the end result of everything, what would be then the purpose of hope? What would be the purpose of faith? Faith is to hope as the mind is to the body. Faith is our brains and the factual side of our beliefs because of what is tangible. Hope is our hearts and the emotional belief that everything will happen like it's supposed to (just as we believe our heart will work without us telling it what to do).

What destroys hope? FEAR! The lack of belief will shake the very foundation of our faith and cause us to lose sight of hope. When we don't believe that the chair will hold us up, we will never come to the table and sit down to receive the gift or the blessing of what He has for us. When we don't believe that there is a better way or a better choice, we will never walk in that direction of choosing the better way. When we don't have all the facts or have skewed information, we tend to hesitate and walk in boldness and confidence because we are scared it's not going to work.

Hope is bold and daring. Hope is confident and not arrogant. Hope is fearless. Hope does not have any disregard for comfort and safety. That's the audacity of hope!

Scriptures on Hope:

• Psalm 71:14
• Proverbs 11:7
• Romans 8:23-25
• Romans 5:3-5
• I Corinthians 13:12-13

The Battle versus The War

Over the last couple of years, I have become a huge fan of the History Channel. Their shows are so intriguing and really cause you to stop and think about the world around you and how it got to be the way it is. I often find myself getting caught up in some historical series and evaluating whether or not the facts presented are biased. It wasn't until recently I learned the History Channel serves more than just presenting information.

Lately, I have been feeling the urgency to get various tasks accomplished and scratch them off my To-Do-List. However, my greatest challenge and struggle has been dealing emotionally with the disappointments and frustrations in not getting them done. I have realized that I have spent more time organizing, arranging and rearranging the tasks that I don't actually get them accomplished. I focus so much on the bigger picture and the end result that I miss the road in front of me and often fall/fail because I miss the warnings or venture in the wrong directions.

About three weeks ago, I woke up on Saturday morning to the television on and there was a show on the History Channel describing the events that led to the fall of a Civil War General. As I watched, I soon came to realize that it wasn't just loosing the final battle that brought about the downfall of this general, but it was about all the little events that happened along the way that made the greatest difference: the traitors, loss of men, loss of resources, financial struggles, etc.

And then it dawned on me! My success in life, work, and home is not about the end product but about winning all of the smaller battles that occur along the way! It's about all of the little events that end up directly affecting the end product and if I ignore those little events I will actually miss the end product.

As I begin to think more on this topic, I then begin to think about my Christian journey and what God says about winning this war for my peace, sanity, victory! There are very few scriptures that He gives us as "war instructions" that focus on the end product which is the spiritual war at hand. Most of the scriptures direct us to focus on the smaller battles which have a direct affect on the war. His attempt is for us to be Battle Ready (because He knows we will face more little battles) than War Victorious. He doesn't ask that we change all of us at one time but He tries to focus our attention on one flaw and then then next. He doesn't ask us to completely stop sinning but He helps us take one step at a time to becoming more and more righteous. He doesn't tell us that when we approach the starting line that we will immediately arrive at the end but He helps us focus on running the race not necessarily winning the race.

As I look at my own life and my successes and failures, I realize that I must take heart in the smaller battles and their victories than focusing on the entire war. I must focus my attention on each piece of armor (Ephesian 6:10-20) rather than the whole suit of armor. I must focus my attention on each part of my body like taming my tongue (James 3:1-12) or protecting my eyes (Proverbs 21:4) than fixing my entire body at one time. I must focus on winning the battles and not necessarily on winning the war (2 Corinthians 10:3).

Everyday Superhero

I watch way to much tv .........

I just woke up from the same dream, experienced three times in three weeks. Every have that happen to you? Do you ever start to wonder why? Is God trying to tell me something? Is this a warning? What is the lesson for me to learn? What do I need to understand? The more I thought about my dream, I realized the message was clear long before the dream. This is His way of finally getting my attention.

I don't quite remember how the dream starts but the genial premise is that I go from being an average, everyday citizen to being a part of an elite, special forces crime-fighting group. I start out by witnessing the group in action and somehow I become involved in preventing the next crime in the same manner as of the other members of the group ....... under disguise.

But tonight's ending was different.

The other two night's, I watched, as almost from a distance, as the group members one by one, left their families to become a part of this group. So show their wives, mothers, etc see through the disguise to see the reason they have "disappeared" from normal, everyday life. And with no explanation, the elite group member doesn't even say "goodbye" but just continues on while their family fades into the background.

Tonight I had done the same thing.

In my dream, I watched as my husband sees me one the street after completing a "job" and begins to confront me. He starts asking "Where have I been." and "Why have I neglected our son and our home." "How could you just walk away from us like that?!"

And then the "wake up call" occurred. For the past two weeks I had been complaining about how overloaded my plates have been and how I can't seem to get anything accomplished but continue to get more (in all arenas: i.e. work, home, spiritual). I have been frustrated by the lack of concentration towards and completion of tasks I had exhibited. Everyday I would come home hanging my head, defeated by the thought of what "I needed to do."

Now my dream makes sense. Philippians 4:13 is very clear. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.". I have been trying to put on a mask/disguise everyday pretending that I can do everything and that I can balance it all and worse of all ....... on my own! I begin to wonder, "Have I, just like in the dream, neglected and left my family to join the ranks of an elite group of Super Worker, Super Wife, Super Mom (which doesn't exist by the way)?! "Have I even been so concentrated on winning the big battles, that I don't even celebrate the small victories?"

This blog alone answers that question. I "planned" back in August of 2008 to begin writing some of the things I believe God was sharing with me. Since then I was planning, and planning, and planning but hadn't accomplished even starting the actual blog construction. Now I go to sleep celebrating the small victories I have just won: I have accomplished my goal of starting a blog; I was able to find the time to write a post without distraction (my boys are currently sleeping); I am able to release the weight of failure and frustration by just trusting Him; and I finally got the message: Tia AIN'T no super hero.

Good night!